If Satomi was having her sexual awakening in a time of radical feminism, she would not burn her bra; just the thought is abhorrent to her.
For a Feminine Dominant, the bra, the shoes, long painted nails and lipstick they are all tools in an arsenal that can be used to subtly manipulate. It is with these tools that woman learn the art of fem dom. By using everything, the walk, how it sounds, how it looks; your nails, lips, voice you are able to illicit the response you desire.
A voice doesn’t need to be abrasive, just authoritative, and that can be done quietly. Sometimes that is what places more fear in the man.
Fem dom is so different from male dom because ultimately women are perceived as softer creatures, and this is something that she says, we can use. When she was a young woman, working in Japan while studying, she took on a job of a hostess, serving drinks and lighting cigarettes, she learned the power she held as a woman in that job. Being so subservient she learned to subtly manipulate men.
“A well placed look can show a man more than any words of flattery would,” She says.
Satomi told us a story of a little girl who grew up feeling different from all of her friends, and who in this world of BDSM can’t relate to that! But it was through her time as a student in a hospital, that she learned through, giving enema’s and catheters to patients, that she began to understand that difference. It was actually a patient who told her she was a sadist, because of something in her eyes.
She tells us that the tools, that women use, though they appear to make us vulnerable like stilettos, they are the real strength because a well placed stiletto is as dangerous as a knife.
All the tips and tricks that she shared comes back to just one thing,
“If it increases the self confidence and shortens the gap between the perceived body and the inside beauty, then it is an effective weapon in the arsenal!”
There is not a woman on this planet that doesn’t have an issue with their body, she goes on to say, but the self confidence that we find through our rituals, i.e. painting nails, sexy lingerie, high heeled shoes and deportment; they are just there to make the gap between our own insecurities, and what others really see, smaller.
“Ultimately a man, who may be over 6 foot tall, comes to you for dominance because he wants to be there. He wants to be dominated, So all you have to do is switch on that ‘something’ inside.” She states.
In French the expression is that ‘Je ne sais quoi’ or the ‘it’ factor. It is hard to describe WHAT it is, we all have it; it just takes time to learn to switch it on!
The art of Fem Dom is the art of seduction at its finest. Satomi goes on to explain that,
“You want to give a little to a submissive, to get a lot and make them think that what you want, is what they want; it is the ultimate art of manipulation.”
36 women, me included, were given a short lesson in deportment i.e. How to walk into a room, slowly, seductively, with purpose, or meaning; how to walk around a chair, and sit, and use our feet and shoes in a session.
It was interesting to watch this room full of women walking about as though they had books on their head, like something out of an 18thC novel. It is those rituals that women used to do that through our choices being opened up, we have simply forgotten. Thank you for the reminder Satomi, your lesson was invaluable!